i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
