Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
