Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
