Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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