Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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