My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I need to stop coming to work sober
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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