You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
