and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
