So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize