Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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