im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Bring me that man meat
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
