sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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