A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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