they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
