I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
