It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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