the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
