Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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