Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
