found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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