It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
