never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
