Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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