um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
