well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Randomize
