soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize