i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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