you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
