Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
