Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
