you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize