im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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