On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
