maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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