He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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