Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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