I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
