The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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