Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
