oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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