did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
