you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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