she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hippo gnu deer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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