My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
