We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
