my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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