i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
