Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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