why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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