She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
