It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
