I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
