; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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