i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
