My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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