Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize