Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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