Kiss
Puke
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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