I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
