I haven't been this sober since birth.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
