You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
