I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize