Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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