mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
