I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
