The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
