I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
