Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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