I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
