we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
