He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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