I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Who wears a wallet chain?!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
